For the first time in my life I find clarity with what I want to do with it and the happiness is so overwhelming that I find no words to describe it. I want to write and I want to develop my craft slowly and softly so that I don’t rush things. I want to take time and do this one thing properly and fully. Nicole Pluss says, ‘I know I have a mountain to climb but I also know that there are people who will try to pull me up,’ I don’t know if she felt it but she was that hand that gently stroked me to wake me up from my slumber and pulled me one step up the mountain. I would like to thank her for helping me see clearly. After the two days workshop on creative writing I now realize I had already started my journey but I just didn’t realize it myself, this journey up the mountain.
Writing is not easy and it will test my passion and it will test my dedication. At this moment I feel I will get through the ordeals, I just need to follow my dream and be ready for disappointments I will face. I know the struggles that I will have to undergo and I also know the discipline that I will have to bring into my life. But if I don’t give it a shot I know I will never be happy later in my life.
Most people say that they want to write but later they don’t, because they are not able to commit themselves to the long-term dedication. I see writing and embarking on this journey up the mountain as doing something worthwhile but also as bringing discipline to my life and committing myself fully to something I value in my life. But more than anything I hope to become a better person through the writings I write. I have always regarded writing as a ground for reflecting on my feelings, opinions and thoughts. Writing will give me the moments to contemplate on myself and better myself as a human being. I hope I will find my purpose met with the writings I will write.
My father always tells me to specialize in something that I have keen interest in, to set some long-term goals and start working towards them slowly. Till now I could never think of anything I might do but the answer was right under my nose. It had been staring up at me all this time but I never looked. I want to learn and teach creative writing and if possible I want to write, I want to imagine and I want to dream and see my dreams take shape with the images I will draw with the words I choose.
I don’t want to worry. I want to take it easy but at the same time I want to do it sincerely. I want to forget time when I am doing it and I want to make myself happy by remembering the time when I am not doing it. I am writing this today because I want to commit myself to the journey I will take, to remember this day many years from now when I may look back and smile. When I will be again looking up at the mountain, but that time I should have finished climbing it, I hope.
8th October 2011, time 2:37 PM